I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
