We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
