you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
