that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize