She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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