it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
