Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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