oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
