my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
