I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
