Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What did we do last night that was yellow?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
