We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
