As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
