Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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