yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize