even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
