anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
