wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
