the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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