Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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