A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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