i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
