i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
