I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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