I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
