I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
