Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
