Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
