dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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