I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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