i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
4 words: hood of his car
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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