The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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