I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
