my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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