i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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