im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize