I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
