this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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