Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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