Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
