Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
