party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my being single is dangerous.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize