Don't make out with my wife yet
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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