either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
