yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
