So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
