Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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