Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
