There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
