Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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