You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
