Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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