If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
