xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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