I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
