I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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