worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
