Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
