Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
