I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
